Emotional intelligence is the ability to know one’s own emotions, manage them, recognize them in other people and use them to motivate oneself. We would all like to be smarter and be able to get more out of it. In this article we will explain how to develop emotional intelligence .
However, traditional intelligence has traditionally been valued more, that which is measured with the intelligence tests used in schools and institutes. The problem with the abilities these tests measure is that they are not practical in real life.
However, emotional intelligence is very practical, moreover, it is essential for life. In this article I will show you 7 practical ways for you to learn how to develop your emotional intelligence , whether you are an adult, child or elderly person.
8 practical ways to work on your emotional intelligence
We can all be emotionally intelligent, it’s just about putting certain guidelines into practice. Properly using the tools we have available is the way to achieve it.
Here are some of them:
1-Identify and manage your emotions appropriately
Always try to recognize what is the emotion that is predominant at a certain moment, especially when you feel bad.
Ask yourself if it is anger or rage that you are feeling, or perhaps uncontrollable anxiety. Those feelings have the same basis and are physically manifested in a similar way.
When you have identified what you are feeling is when you can begin to control your emotions.
If you are aware that you feel a lot of anger, you will understand that acting in that state of mind is not going to yield any positive results.
Surely the best thing is to wait for the feeling to pass or diminish and then make decisions and act.
2-Always try to understand the cause of emotions
This is an exercise that will help you a lot.
It is always worth taking a few minutes to try to understand the cause of your own emotions and those of others.
Understanding the reason for one’s own emotions and also those of other people helps to understand their way of acting and avoids hasty judgments.
With practice, identifying and understanding the cause of emotions will become easier for you. You will decipher certain behavior patterns more quickly, which will allow you to identify the emotion.
Then you will understand that in situations of sadness, for example, you usually react in a certain way. So, when you are clear about this, you can move on to the next step.
3-Speak freely about what you feel
It is probably easier for you to talk about what you think than what you feel. That happens to most people.
To the extent that you talk about what you feel, it will be easier to treat and transform your feelings. When the human being feels happy he usually has no difficulty expressing it and shouts it from the rooftops.
The problem appears when you are going through a conflictive situation and try to hide your feelings. Even if you don’t realize it, sometimes you may want to hide what happens to you and thus prevent others from finding out.
Talking about what you feel does not mean exposing your personal life, it means bringing out what makes you feel bad to analyze and treat it.
A situation that exemplifies the above can be the following: you lost your job a week ago. A person from your environment who does not know the news, asks you: “How have you been?” and you reply “very well thank you”.
In reality you are lying to him, and if they asked you why you do it, what would you answer? It would be more logical to answer that you had a bad time because you lost your job, right?
4-Appreciate and recognize the good of the other
This is something that can cost you a lot since it is easier for human beings to criticize than to recognize virtues in others.
If you see that a well-known person has successfully overcome a very difficult situation, go ahead and ask him how he has done it.
Learn to recognize and take the good of the other. Not only is it a gesture of greatness that will enrich you as a person, but you will be able to capitalize on it in your own experiences.
5-Stay calm when you feel angry or anxious
It is not easy but if you succeed you will have fulfilled a large part of the work.
Achieving control in moments of anger or nervousness is not easy, but when you do it you see good results in a short time.
A friend told you that a co-worker spoke badly about you. Then you feel an uncontrollable fury and you are going to call her to rebuke her and insult her, because she has no right to do so. However, it is at that moment when you must stop and think clearly.
Perhaps your friend misunderstood or is using the wrong words. The best thing is that you talk to your co-worker, but when you are calm.
6-Strive to eliminate the negative
When a negative thought comes to your mind immediately try to find a positive meaning.
For example, you go on the bus and suddenly you think that you are unlucky for not being able to travel more comfortably in a car. You feel that you deserve it but nevertheless you cannot buy it.
Before you feel sad or complain, think about how lucky you are to be able to pay for the bus ticket. Some people can’t even do it. This is not about being conformist, but about valuing the things that we do have in a fairer measure.
“Enjoy what you have while pursuing what you want.”
7-be grateful to people
Being grateful to life and to people will help you feel much better.
When you check the number of reasons why you should give thanks, you will see that you are much luckier than you thought.
If life knocks then you immediately complain but nevertheless when something good happens do you appreciate it?
8-Always consider the possibility of change
Being open to change when things go wrong is a good strategy.
When you have a conflict, the first thing is to identify the origin of said conflict: is it emotional or not? Has something similar happened to me before? Then you can start looking for a solution.
The answers to these questions will suggest the way. If it has happened to you before and you solved it in a certain way, you can repeat.
However, if you didn’t get it right then change! You will not be sure that it will work, but if you do the same thing as the previous time, then you already know what the result will be.
Change entails risks, and getting out of the “comfort zone” costs. However, if you don’t get out of that circle you won’t grow. Phrases like “I’m fine like this” “why change if I’m not so bad?” This type of reasoning will stagnate you and will not allow you to move forward.
You can be as emotionally intelligent as you want to be, effort is the basis of great achievements. Follow these tips and develop your emotional intelligence, as it will help you be happier.
And what strategy or techniques have you used to develop your emotional intelligence?
What is emotional intelligence?
In recent decades, much research has been done on the subject, and among the various studies, that of the American doctor Daniel Goleman stands out.
Specialist Goleman defines it through four actions. Being emotionally intelligent is:
Know and identify your emotions
The key point to be emotionally intelligent is that you are able to know what your emotions are.
Being able to identify the way you feel when you are faced with certain circumstances is essential.
There are four basic emotions that give rise to all the others: anger, anxiety, sadness and happiness.
manage your emotions
Have control over them and let your emotions not control you.
Being able to identify them is what allows you to trigger your own control mechanism.
If you can identify and manage your emotions properly, you will not be paralyzed by them and you will find motivation to act, take charge of your life and direct it where you want.
Identify the emotions of others
Being able to recognize the different emotions of the people with whom you share your daily life is essential.
This is what is called empathy : the ability to better understand what moods others are going through, identifying with the other in their emotions.
When you can perceive what the other is feeling or what he is going through, the opportunities for good communication and personal relationships improve significantly.
Establish healthy bonds with others
You will feel much better when establishing authentic, sincere relationships in which you can express yourself freely.
In addition to this, healthy bonds will strengthen you in the face of your own vulnerabilities, since you will not feel alone in difficult situations.
The best way to verify that you have understood the concept is to put it into practice and experience good relationships and sensations.
Problems and difficulties are always present in everyone’s life, the key is knowing how to handle them so that we can be happy despite everything.
We hope after reading this article you have grasped how to develop emotional intelligence.