Nonviolent Communication

The Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a skill increasingly present in companies and proposes a new way to express wants and needs, always choosing a path of reconciliation and peaceful attitudes.

This article will address the concept of NVC, its emergence and the benefits that the technique brings to the work environment.

The content will also show, from practical examples, how to apply empathic communication to have a harmonious behavior in the personal and professional field. Good reading!

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) encompasses communication skills used to strengthen human connections based on compassion and empathy.

The strategy is broad, applied to verbal (written or spoken) and non-verbal (gestures, facial or bodily expressions, images or codes) communication .

In practice, non-violent communication occurs when the sender reformulates what he says and hears. That is, before responding unconsciously and immediately, he listens attentively and reflects on the meaning and desire expressed by someone.

Thus, instead of responding untimely, the individual seeks to express himself clearly, empathize, and respectfully.

The origin of the theory

Psychologist Marshall Rosenberg coined the term “Non-Violent Communication” in the 1960s. The historical context was one of racial segregation in the United States and some schools were ready to change this scenario.

Importance and benefits in the work environment

In the context of companies, Non-Violent Communication has a series of purposes. The main applications are:

• promoting empathy;
• construction of more welcoming environments ;
• mediation and peaceful conflict resolution;
• openness to dialogue ;
• reduction of aggressions (verbal and physical);
• promote and maintain healthy relationships;
• strengthening a culture based on partnership and teamwork ;
• optimized employee engagement . They can damage relationships between teams, weaken trust in company management of teams.

The NVC is also applied in other areas, for example, to help with recovery treatments after trauma and addiction cases and/or to humanize the care provided by health professionals.

The great merit of Non-Violent Communication lies in its ability to strengthen bonds . Always based on empathy, to see the world from the other person’s perspective.

Thus, we were able to understand the possible reasons that permeate their attitudes. The practice of NVC also offers other benefits, such as:

• shows the impact of our actions on other people’s lives. An example is when someone feels they are being blamed or charged. So it reacts defensively;
• it helps when understanding emotions, as it makes us reflect on what bothers us, generating more peaceful reactions;
• in a company, NVC allows everyone – employees and leaders – to manifest themselves in a welcoming environment;
• Non-Violent Communication does not suppress debate or discussion, but makes it easier for the group to reach consensus.

How to implement NVC in 4 pillars

Non-Violent Communication, also called empathic communication, is based on 4 pillars: observation, feelings, needs and requests .

This framework was created by Marshall Rosenberg to improve the quality of relationships.

Check out how to implement these components to express yourself and hear clearly in front of the other.

1. Observation (knowing how to listen without judgment)

Rosenberg advises that the first action is to observe what is happening. At this stage, we must question whether the received message (actions or speeches) adds something positive. In this sense, observe without judgment and without value judgment . We must understand what pleases or displeases us in a given situation.

2. Feelings (inquire without making assessments)

The next step is to understand what feeling the situation arouses. Marshall suggests that feelings be named (fear, anger, happiness, hurt, among others). This pillar says that it is important to allow yourself to be vulnerable to resolve conflicts and thus understand the difference between what we feel and what we think or interpret.

3. Needs (understanding rather than using strategies)

By understanding which feeling the situation aroused, it is time to recognize which needs are linked to it. For Rosenberg, when someone expresses their needs, the possibility that they will be met is much greater. Also, awareness of the above components must come from a clear and honest personal analysis.

4. Orders (argue instead of giving orders)

We must specifically request and based on concrete actions what we want from the other person. The researcher recommends using positive and affirmative language whenever we need to place a request . Therefore, it is important to avoid abstract, ambiguous or vague sentences.

These are the 4 pillars of Non-Violent Communication. But having good communication with others requires, above all, that we have empathy with ourselves.

We know that changing habits is not an easy task, but we shouldn’t give up. The practice of NVC must be constant and not working on the first attempt is common.

Examples of NVC

So far, we have seen the theoretical part of Non-Violent Communication. Now, know some possible examples that happen in everyday situations.

Remember to analyze each case using Rosenberg’s 4 pillars:

• watch what is happening, without judgment;
• try to identify and understand the feeling that befell you;
• identify the need that exists under that feeling;
• express your request clearly.

Example 1: conversation between a couple

“I noticed that the last few times I asked you not to leave clothes on the floor, you got angry and upset (note). Know that this makes me upset (feeling), because I feel tired of collecting (need). I appreciate it if you remember to put your pieces in the basket (order)”.

Example 2: dialogue between mother and young child

“My son, when you leave the toys all over the house (observation), I get very angry (feeling). Understand that the rooms need to be organized so that we can walk (need). I need you to keep your toys, so help Mom and avoid accidents (request)”.

Example 3: family conversation

“Talking about politics in this house makes you upset and angry (note). I’m afraid and sad about this (feeling), because we should talk about the topic presenting our points of view. Even if they are against (need), I would like to understand your position and it would be great if you would listen to me (request)”.

Example 4: dialog on the desktop

“Colleague, when you talk like that to me in the department (note), I feel irritated and belittled in front of others (feeling). I need to feel respected and know that I can count on my teammates for my development in the company (need). The next time you disagree with something, call me to talk privately (request)”.