Self-esteem is the concept that we have of our worth and is based on all the thoughts, feelings, sensations and experiences that we have been collecting about ourselves during our lives; we think we are smart or less smart, we like it or not . Here we will make you aware of How to increase self-esteem?
The thousands of impressions, evaluations and experiences gathered in this way come together in a positive feeling towards ourselves or, on the contrary, in an uncomfortable feeling of not being what we expected. The concept we have of ourselves is not something inherited, but learned from around us, through the assessment we make of our behavior and the assimilation and internalization of the opinion of others regarding us. The importance of self-esteem lies in the fact that it drives us to act, to move forward and motivates us to pursue our goals.
Self-esteem will never depend on what you have , what you know or what you are, it will always depend on personal acceptance .
Self-esteem evolves as we live new experiences. From childhood we are building the concept of ourselves as we grow, an idea of who we are is forming, if we like it or not, if we are accepted or not. The child will create expectations about his possibilities. He will be happy with himself or, on the contrary, disgusted with what he does.
Thus, it is at an early age when the concept of oneself, emotion and feeling towards our own person are molded and, although this is not completely unchangeable, it is at this stage that we are creating lasting foundations over time. The child, here, compares his real self with his ideal self and judges himself by how well he meets the social standards and expectations he has formed of himself and how well he performs. .
The events that have the greatest influence are usually those that marked our childhood, such as the way our parents, teachers or friends treated us.
The main characteristics of self-esteem is that it is NOT innate, that is, it is formed, developed and modified with experience and throughout our lives. Therefore it is very influenced by our context.
In this way the person will end up developing a high and healthy self-esteem or, on the contrary, a low self-esteem .
Components of self-esteem
- Cognitive Component: What we think about ourselves. It includes the opinion, ideas and beliefs that one has of one’s own personality, behavior and oneself.
- Affective Component: Judgment made about what we feel, personal qualities, the affective response to the perception of oneself.
- Behavioral Component: What we do, our decision and intention to act.
How to increase self-esteem?
When a person has low self-esteem , they are not loved, accepted and do not value their qualities that many times they will not even be able to see them. You probably stop going to social gatherings, stop trying new things and facing challenges for fear of not achieving them, because you probably believe that you will not be able to achieve it and you lack security in your day to day.
First steps to increase self-esteem
- Be aware of the critical voice: Be aware of what you think of yourself, what you say to yourself, how you see yourself
. The first thing is to start with your thoughts. What were you thinking the last time you felt bad or low self-esteem?
- Observe your thoughts
It is important that you get used to observing your thoughts. It is about realizing what you are thinking so that you can question it
- Question the critical voice.
Once you are aware of your negative thoughts, you must question them in order to consider alternatives.
- Identify distortions
Distortions are perceptions of reality that do not correspond to it and that lead to negative feelings and emotions
- Identify strengths and weaknesses
You must reinforce your critical voice with strengths and be aware of them. In the event that you have difficulties finding them, ask yourself what strengths your friends, family see in you…
- Accept the past and put it in your favor
Interpret your past differently to try to turn it around.
The best way to not judge yourself is to avoid judgments. To do this, you can create phrases and repeat them as many times as necessary until you manage to create a new attitude.
- Reinforce the healthy voice
Reward yourself when you find yourself speaking positively to yourself. You have to work on this habit little by little.
- Eliminate shoulds
“shoulds” have one of the most negative impacts on self-esteem. They usually have their origin in education, due to obligations that we supposedly have to fulfill but that actually make us feel bad.
- Positive self –evaluation
People with low self-esteem do not see themselves clearly, their self-image magnifies their defects and diminishes their strengths. The result is a feeling of inadequacy as they compare themselves to other people.
Instead of magnifying your weaknesses and filtering out your strengths, you can learn to recognize the person you really are.
- You have the right
Everyone has the right to ask for things, to ask, to claim personal rights, to seek well-being…