Toxic friendship can cause emotional damage, since friends are the ones with whom we usually share a large part of our time.
What are toxic friendship?
Our friendship fills our lives with benefits and colors. Even so, not all friendships are to last the rest of our lives. When a toxic relationship is present, it is normally believed that it affects only couple relationships, but the reality is that this situation, of psychological and emotional abuse, can be evidenced in friendly relationships.
Toxic friendship can cause emotional damage, since friends are the ones we usually share a large part of our time with, as a consequence, they have a great impact and influence on many aspects of our lives. These toxic friendships are detrimental to our well-being and emotional health. We can hurt ourselves, because friendships also involve us in a sentimental relationship, but of another type and nature, if a friendship moves away completely, from a friend we receive trust and affection, which benefit both people.
Certainly, there are times when we don’t know why, but when sharing with certain friends we feel very empty, disappointed or sad. Taking time to reflect on friendship relationships is essential to detect if what exists is a toxic friendship, in which case, we must act before it affects us too much.
types of toxic friendship
Different types of toxic friendship are known , and sometimes we come across people whose characteristics take on shades of a toxic person. If we have these feelings or see them reflected in a friend, it is likely that we have a toxic friendship relationship.
They come to us only when they need us.
Sometimes we feel that we are always there for a person, but that this person is not there for us and that they only look for us when they have problems, want something in return or need something. When we need a friend, he is not by our side and makes excuses. These people usually make plans together, when the time comes to cancel because they will surely have something more interesting to do.
makes us feel insecure
We have quite a few known people throughout our life, but true friends give us and develop enough confidence to tell them our secrets. However, those friendships that hurt us will use our secrets against us, making us feel defenseless and insecure. Likewise, it is common for comments to be made about some characteristics of our personality, with the sole purpose of making ourselves look ridiculous in front of other people.
Friendships that support us when we need
In certain circumstances we need the support of a friend, to tell us his point of view or opinion about a situation that worries us, or to tell us if we are acting in the best way or not in the face of a problem, without being judged, Listen carefully. With toxic friends we won’t have any of these things, a toxic friend seizes the right moment to sink us emotionally. They enjoy stealing energy from others, especially in those situations when we find ourselves more vulnerable and with negative energy.
They become the victims
A true friendship encourages you to move on, gives you a shoulder if you need it, however, toxic friendships seek to relate from their victim role. His things and problems are always of the highest importance and he will brush off our problems as if they don’t exist or don’t matter at all. These toxic people will make us responsible for their own actions, for example, if they are emotional manipulators, they will make it seem that we are the problem.
We feel bad next to him
Friends are there to make us feel good, safe, secure and not the opposite, but this does not happen with all friendships. A clear indication of toxic friendships is how bad we feel when we think of having shared time with a toxic or negative person. Negative people will make us feel overwhelmed, sad, discouraged, dissatisfied, or tired.
They mess with our loved ones
A true friend seeks to have the necessary tact to tell us certain things, he will not speak ill of our loved ones, family, partner or other friends. Envy can make a toxic person sabotage our relationships, just for the simple pleasure of seeing us isolated.
How to identify toxic friendships?
Toxic friendships are different, this one is based on no real appreciation, but rather on interest or on what they can get from the other person. These toxic friendships make us feel uncomfortable and bad after spending time with them, and we sometimes wonder why:
Lack of respect sentences any relationship to imminent failure. When ideas, requests or feelings are not taken into account, the feeling of impotence and being trampled is present. This lack of respect, I can even get to the point of insults or lack of kindness.
lack of reciprocity
Every relationship is based on a balance of receiving and giving, it is a reciprocal situation, which has an essential value for a friendship. It is important that throughout the duration of a friendship equality is maintained. When in a friendship, one of the parties tries to take advantage of the generosity of the other, that balance becomes unbalanced and it is felt that the situation is not fair. For this reason, we can think and feel that our friendship is being abused.
Emotional release and negativity
In some cases of friendship, a single topic is touched on, which is how badly one or both people are doing in a friendship. Negative things are talked about and constant complaints are born, leading to the predominance of the famous role of victim. The negativity in a toxic friendship can be interpreted as the relationship being based on speaking ill of other people, and not on building positive moments where there is shared time and mutual support.
Emotional manipulation and disqualification
In an interpersonal relationship, it is dangerous for emotional manipulation to exist. They tend to use threats, promises and guilt. Emotional manipulation in toxic friendships is used to take advantage of the other at will. A typical way of manipulation in a toxic friendship is disqualification, perception and reality are manipulated to confuse.
This type of friendship is not honest, the expectation will not go hand in hand with reality and it can cause misunderstandings. In this situation, the supposed friend has more romantic or sexual interest that will cause the bond of friendship to break. If only this romantic-sexual interest is sought, and not a disinterested and authentic friendship, this friendship will be doomed to failure.