Psychology

What is self pity How to feel how to identify eliminating sefl pity

A destructive combination is formed by feeling sorry for ourselves and not trusting our ability, we know it as having low self-esteem. This low self-esteem leads to self-pity. Mainly it is an inclination that makes us look for a culprit for all the bad things that happen to us and for the failures.

When a person begins to feel sorry for themselves, they can’t find the positive side of every situation, they lose that ability to focus, they don’t trust their potential and they remain unmotivated. It is worthless what other people may think, if they congratulate them for a job well executed or if in their family environment they constantly express how great they are.

How to feel victimized with self-pity?

“Feeling sorry for ourselves is one of the most destructive non-pharmaceutical drugs. It is an addictive narcotic that gives pleasure in the short term but separates us from reality.

-John Gardner-

The person who suffers from self-pity usually blames others, they blame bad luck as responsible for their misfortune, their poor economy, etc., they always seek to blame fate, God or karma for their problems, making it difficult to improve or change that situation.

What is known as self-consolation prevents us from accepting and acknowledging what is happening. For some people it is simply feeling sad or depressed without really knowing why, for other people it leads to feeling less valuable, being weaker than others.

Self-pity, in most cases, develops in childhood or adolescence, surely someone has made you believe during these times that they do not have sufficient capacity to face new goals, overcome challenges and obstacles, or they exerted a lot of pressure to be the best at everything they do.

It is true that sometimes we tend to think that the things that happen in our lives go hand in hand with various external factors, we settle for believing that the primary basis of our misery or limitation is only ourselves and that this is represented in self-pity what we feel.

Do you often feel sorry for yourself?

If many of the words indicated in our article stick in your head, but without really defining why, it could be because you unknowingly feel sorry for yourself. To realize if you feel self-pity, answer these questions

  • Do you usually look for a justification for your attitudes?
  • Do you feel that you have no control over your life or what happens to you?
  • Do you feel that the solution to your problems is based on what others do or don’t do?
  • Do you ask for advice but do not pay attention to follow it?

If your answer has been yes to at least one of these questions, there are chances that you may feel like a victim in every adverse situation or feel sorry for yourself easily. All human beings make mistakes, we make mistakes and the feeling of failure surrounds us and many times we feel depressed.

Likewise, those people in their environment who always see things half way through the situations they live in daily or frequently think about what they could have done, are people with a clear tendency to be complacent. If a person firmly believes that he is not in control of what happens around her, and that the whole world is always against him to harm him, he will not have the ability to evolve and get ahead.

Have you detected the problem and now what to do?

Accepting that one suffers from self-pity is taking a big first step. From now on, the path to follow is to accept the change and find a solution to the problem that affects you. We will give you some tips to help you:

  1. Look for inspiration in everything that surrounds you, many people can help you by telling you about their experience. Focus on the good things. Don’t allow self-pity, get it out of your mind. 
  2. Use your energy to do positive things, avoid thinking about the bad things that happened in your past, focus on being better to achieve goals in the future.  
  3. Never think that you are a victim. 
  4. Do not forbid yourself from having negative emotions, this is learning to improve.
  5. Look for inspiration in everything that surrounds you, many people can help you by telling you about their experience. Focus on the good things
  6. Look for inspiration in everything that surrounds you, many people can help you by telling you about their experience. 

Self-pity, from Buddhism, has a completely different meaning. Feeling compassion for oneself leads to leaving suffering and all the causes that generate such suffering. Instead of investing a large part of life regretting every negative thing and making ourselves the victims of the circumstance. In Buddhism it is said that “we are active agents”, and being an active agent means that what we do or what we do not do will always depend on oneself.

In this way, we will look for what makes us unhappy and we will do what is necessary to remedy it. Most of the time, it is our brain that causes us suffering, adding different nuances to life and the way we see the world. Therefore, the next step to take, will be the beginning of a work of dedication to ourselves, in this way, a transformation of self-pity will be achieved, achieving a truly positive change.

What do we achieve by diminishing self-pity?

By performing certain exercises to eradicate self-pity, it will allow you to reap great benefits. 

Patience is a virtue that people are always conditioning, always in search of speed, self-pity highlights the need for calm.

You have to cultivate inner happiness, even in moments of great difficulty. The human being can change the way of living a present reality through a good attitude. 

Personal relationships will benefit. It is necessary to take a time of solitude, this space of time with ourselves will allow us to find ourselves and concentrate on improving. This alone time can be spent in environments connected with nature, completely forgetting about technology, and living moments of calm solitude. A change of focus can show us a new perspective on specific situations. We must take into account that all people have made mistakes and mistakes in life.

By taking control of these emotions, which are not at all constructive, human beings will be able to evolve internally, let us learn from the mistakes made so as not to make them again, let us be the protagonists of a process of improvement, where new opportunities will always come into our lives. 

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