In these times, communication techniques are highly recurrent, a necessary tool for the development of society, of the human being as a sociable being that needs to interrelate to survive. Assertive communication is one of the great protagonists for this to happen .
Ideology, creed, religion or any type of opinion can be contrary, depending on who our interlocutor is, the group to which we belong or the social class to which we belong. Even within our identity group, we may have differences of thought. This is where assertiveness comes into play.
Features of assertive communication
We should start by first defining the concept of assertive communication in order to understand its nature well. For starters, assertiveness is the ability of people who can say things frankly, directly and clearly about what we think or want to say.
All this, of course, avoiding hurting the feelings of the interlocutor or the audience, being polite and not belittling the idea of others. This is why implementing assertive communication is so complicated. We are all offended when the other thinks or tells us something that goes against our integrity or thinking. On many occasions, it is the basis of any conflict, whether family or friendship, as well as in the professional field.
In short, assertive communication is the ability of the human being to communicate respecting others, taking into account the verbal ability (debate / debate), non-verbal language (gestures / expressions) and attitude (respect). Above all, we must respect the rest if we want to gain the same attitude.
How to improve assertive communication, in 8 steps
Some people have a more or less assertive way of communicating, however, it is not an innate quality. Each person’s personality will make us assertive to a greater or lesser degree. So here are some steps to improve this skill.
1. Evaluation
We have to identify our oral ability, our style. How do we debate or argue? As with any type of solution, we must identify the problem. What prevents us from being more assertive? The language we use is very important. An aggressive style reduces the other’s complicity. A passive attitude makes us lose ground in the affirmation of our ideas.
2. Learn to listen
It is one of the main requirements to improve our communication methods. First of all, learn to listen to others, let them express their ideas and don’t interrupt them, maintain eye contact and try to show expressiveness . All these steps are essential to gain recipient trust.
3. Speak in the first person
The most common mistake. Don’t question the other, showing him that he is wrong, making him see that he is wrong with ideas you don’t share. Use the “I” as the vehicular element of your exposition. Example: “I think this is true” and not “you are wrong”. This little trick avoids the offense or the feeling of accusation.
4. Knowing how to say “no”
You need to know how to oppose an idea or conviction with the simple act of saying no. This without having to feel guilty, without making the other person see that we deny their ideas. It is simply a way of reaffirming our point of view . While it may seem like a lie, a wrong way of using denial often leads to destructive arguments.
5. Search for meetings
There are always points in common, always, no matter how confronted one position or idea is with another, there are elements that can lead us to converge. Finding common ground is a way to negotiate, to achieve something positive, avoiding extreme positions. In short, generate a win-win situation. Neither losers nor losers.
6. Body language
Assertive communication need not be exclusive to the use of speech or speech. Body language can play a role that many avoid. Posture, eye contact, hand gestures, smiles , can bring a gentle and empathetic touch to another.
7. Emotional control
This does not mean that we hide emotions or expressions . Simply avoid showing them too much. For example, it is very difficult to contain anger when we get angry in an argument or debate, when we are disrespectful. We have to know how to overcome these situations and we will have a lot of cattle. Nor should we laugh at each other, it shows contempt.
8. Adjust ratings
The ultimate element to being a good communicator. It is related to the previous point, and often, as human beings, we tend not to accept criticism that comes to us from others .
It is inevitable, but not impossible. When they criticize us, we must know how to accept it, self-criticism makes us gain trust and respect with others.
