The Socioemotional skills are learned behaviors that we perform when we interact with people around us, through the expression of our feelings, attitudes, rights or opinions. Examples of this are empathy, self-awareness, or self-control.
Thus, a person with great social-emotional skills will demonstrate ability to relate and behave appropriately according to certain goals in various situations.
In this article, I will show you some of the most important socio-emotional skills and how to develop them , emphasizing the school environment at an early age, since the earlier these skills are established, the person will ideally grow.
Within socio-emotional skills, there are basic skills (listening, starting a conversation, asking a question, thanking, introducing yourself, etc.) and more developed skills (taking initiatives, making decisions, setting goals or solving problems according to their importance. , between others) .
To develop the latter, you must start with training to acquire it.
Children’s socioemotional skills
Children’s socio-emotional skills focus on their adaptation to family, school, more direct environment, etc.
The first years are fundamental to consolidate the person’s personality; therefore, if adequate capacities to adapt to the social environment are not developed, this is more likely to lead to an individual with low self-esteem and relationship problems.
Self-control, assertive communication, conflict resolution or empathy are some of the capacities and emotions that the family and the educational system must manage in children to become an individual adapted to society.
It should be noted that until a few decades ago, in the school environment, intellectual aspects predominated over socio-emotional aspects, the latter being practically non-existent. There was a concept that a person’s educational success was to develop their cognitive system.
In the 21st century, pedagogical methods more focused on social skills are taking center stage.
Examples of socioemotional skills
Self knowledge
This concept refers to knowing what we are feeling in each moment, making realistic assessments of our own abilities and recognizing our strengths, limitations and having a connection to our own feelings. That way, we will be realistic when setting goals.
Social consciousness
It is the understanding that others are also feeling and being able to adopt their different perspectives, coming to interact positively with various groups. It is knowing that we are not alone and that, just as we have rights, we also have duties.
This competence includes learning to identify and understand the thoughts and feelings of others and understanding that, thanks to diversity, complementarity is possible in society.
Empathy
It is the ability to put yourself in others’ shoes and experience the emotions that others are experiencing.
assertive communication
It is the style of communication by which the person respects himself and his rights, at the same time as he does with other people.
Resilience
It is the ability to recover from difficult, stressful or traumatic events. For example, a child who regains his physical and mental energy after going through his parents’ divorce.
Perseverance
It is the ability to continue working to achieve medium or long-term goals. You persevere when you don’t get the results you want, but you still take action to try to achieve the desired goal.
Collaboration
It is the ability to coordinate with others to achieve a common goal. For example, you can collaborate with a group of people to achieve peaceful coexistence within a community.
Self Management
Identify our emotions and use them as facilitating factors for the activities we intend to carry out and do not act as interference. Learn to be aware of the need to delay rewards in order to achieve certain goals and develop the perseverance to tolerate frustrations and difficulties.
In this competition, it is important to learn how to manage emotions, as well as set short and long-term goals and work towards achieving them.
responsible decision making
For this competition, it is essential to teach the child to accurately assess the risks. Knowing how to make decisions taking into account all relevant factors, in addition to evaluating the possible consequences of alternative actions, taking responsibility for each action and respecting the other.
Sometimes making decisions is not an easy task, as doubting the most appropriate option can generate feelings of anxiety.
Personal relationship skills
Make use of emotions to develop effective, healthy and reinforcing relationships based on cooperation. Resistance to inappropriate social pressures. Negotiate solutions to conflicts and learn to ask for help when needed.
To do this, the child will be taught to use verbal and non-verbal skills to communicate with others and build healthy relationships with other people and/or groups. In this competition, it is also important to teach the subject of negotiation to resolve conflicts in which both parties benefit.
How to develop socio-emotional skills at school?
One of the essential environments for the development of socio-emotional skills is the educational one, since these skills must be started at an early age.
Social integration
The main function of education is the social adaptation of the individual. This involves promoting their integration into society through socialization, through which each subject, through interaction with others, develops various ways of feeling, thinking and acting, essential for an adequate participation in society.
Currently, in developed societies, there are continuous changes that require the individual to continually readjust. For this reason, it is vitally important to develop the individual’s ability to adapt and the flexibility of the subjects so that we can shape ourselves according to the needs that arise.
However, regarding the inclusion of the development of socio-emotional skills and emotional intelligence in school, it should be borne in mind that the resources we have at school and the time children spend there are limited.
develop skills
There are two options for focusing work on skills:
- Adjusting to the needs of a specific person or group, to the problems they present at school, in the workplace, at home and/or on the street.
- Focus on skills that are likely to be generalizable to other domains and that, in turn, are important for the development of other skills.
The choice of one option or the other will be guided by the demand that is made of us. Emotional skills training programs can be designed in a structured or semi-structured manner.
In the latter, there is more possibility of giving way to improvisation, to be able to work adapting to each situation and person in particular.
Group work
Through group work on socioemotional skills, we can fully address general skills training with exercises designed to reduce anxiety, cognitive restructuring, and solving specific problems presented by each group member.
There are several emotional skills, such as planning and deliberation, controlling and evaluating the course of action, which are interrelated.
If all training included these skills, improving disabilities would facilitate self-knowledge for the person conducting the training, as well as improving their ability to interact with others.
Some of the most important activities from an early age of the child are cooperative learning or discussion groups as a teaching methodology. This methodology provides learning for the child to interact with their peers.
Importance of socioemotional skills
Social-emotional skills are vital for the correct development of the individual and for the relationship with the environment. Thanks to these tools:
– Better control of emotions is possible. This assumes that emotional responses are not triggered (eg, anxiety) or deactivated (depression).
– With a good control of emotions, decision-making is carried out in a responsible way, avoiding risky behaviors. In addition, it helps to focus attention on goals.
– Helps to enrich the social environment, being richer and healthier. This has very positive consequences, such as better academic and professional performance, in addition to reducing the possibility of acquiring addictions (drugs) or developing negative behaviors (violence).
– Improves self-esteem and confidence, which leads to less emotional stress.
– Causes well-being.
Activities for the development of socio-emotional skills
Write an emotional diary
It is a very useful exercise that involves working all the skills. In it will be added the experiences that are presented to you daily and the emotions that cause you emotional suffering (emotional diary).
After the general skills training period is over, time is spent analyzing the various problem situations these individuals noted in their journal and a group approach is undertaken.
Exercise to develop assertiveness
A good exercise to learn to develop assertiveness is to write in a notebook 5 things that you like about your physical image and 5 about your way of being that you like. If you can’t find them, ask friends or family.
Finally, it’s about reviewing the lists and thinking that if this person knew someone with these characteristics, they would certainly be delighted to meet them.
Exercise to develop effective decision making
This exercise consists of jotting down some ideas about the ways in which people make decisions. Below, we reflect on the risks, advantages and disadvantages and possible consequences of each of the ways indicated above.
Exercise for good social communication
A person performs good active listening when they are able to pay attention intentionally, with empathy knowing how to put themselves in the other person’s shoes.
To do this exercise, we will need two people. One will tell a story that is relatively important to him and the other will listen, despite putting many impediments to communication: he will give advice without being asked by the interlocutor, he will talk to someone else while the other continues to talk to him, interrupts him and changes the subject, he shall laugh senselessly, &c.
In a new scene, you start saying a problem you like to solve and the person listening does so by asking clarifying questions, letting you know that they understand, looking at your face and nodding.
Faced with these two very different situations, which is the most positive? In what situation do we implement communication and active listening skills? This exercise is intended to make the individual see the importance of effective communication.
sandwich technique
It is considered one of the most effective techniques to improve social skills. This consists of starting the communication with a focus on a positive aspect, then continuing with an aspect that can be improved, and finally ending with some encouraging words for change, such as: I know you are working hard to change your attitude and shows why you have improved in that regard.
Messages from the “I”
Self-centered messages should be used to express our opinion or express our beliefs about an issue to the other person.
We will use them instead of making generalizations, because what is for you in a certain way need not be the same for the other, because each point of view is subjective. “I think …”, “I think …”, “In my opinion …”.
When we realize these skills by learning from an early age, we grow into socially and emotionally competent people, with self-awareness and positive attitudes towards ourselves and others.
Therefore, the sooner socio-emotional skills are worked on, the sooner they will be developed and benefited in the life of each individual.
In this way, we will know our strengths and be optimistic about our future. We will be able to manage our emotions, achieve our goals and targets, and solve problems effectively and responsibly.
