Desire for revenge what is it really and how to fight it

What is revenge?

Revenge is often seen as a path that leads us to a state of serenity after we have resolved outstanding debts we had with something or someone. In this perspective, the desire to take revenge is nothing more than the natural result of having suffered humiliation or having been harmed in a very significant way, sometimes without someone who caused us that harm who got something in return. In this article we will provide you the information about the concept of Desire for revenge.

However, the desire for revenge is not a healthy feeling . In fact, it can lead us to a destructive logic that is neither ours nor the society in which we live.

More about revenge

Revenge is a set of behaviors aimed at harming a person or group that is perceived as guilty or responsible for harm caused to other people or, often, to the person with vengeful desires.

In short, revenge is a way to manage behaviors linked to aggression. Sometimes, instead of adopting a behavior that involves directly confronting those who harmed us at the time they just did it, a medium or long term strategy is chosen, which would allow us to have a greater probability of inflicting the desired damage through power. benefit from time and resource preparation to plan the physical or psychological attack.

On the other hand, it has been seen that people who are more likely to adopt revenge behaviors are those who have a high score on the personality trait linked to sadism . Sadistic people are those who are relatively prone to enjoy the suffering of others.

The difference with justice

From childhood, we are brought up with the idea that negative acts have negative consequences, and positive acts bring about beneficial changes. This idea is generally valid in the context of parenting young children, but in adult life it doesn’t work that way. Often, by default, the damage remains there, and the universe will not conspire to compensate.

Faced with this reality, the desire for justice appears as a human quality aimed at creating a better society, in which there is the principle that all people have the same rights and in which compensation mechanisms must exist. However, the desire for revenge is not born from the will to make the world a better place, but from a much more visceral feeling. It is not something that has to do with the way of seeing the world or with the desires of how society should be, but it has to do with hatred and resentment .

Thus, the desire for revenge can become a way of entering into a dynamic of conflict that makes the problem bigger than it already is, due to its passionate and unsystematic character.

Why does revenge want something negative?

In addition to the feeling that, once revenge is achieved, there will be compensatory relief for the suffering caused above, being carried away by this motivational force often leads to harmful results . These are some of the reasons.

There are no limits to harm

In revenge, there are only the limits you set. So it ‘s easy to go too far in wanting to harm someone . Justifications appear before any indication that too many thresholds have been exceeded and this can lead to a situation where control is lost and a lot of pain occurs.

wasted potential

There are people who invest a lot of time and effort to get revenge. It is very easy that, once this step is over, you look back and see this period as a waste of time, a gap in the calendar, because nothing that can be enjoyed in the future in a sustained way is due to those actions.

The escalation of violence

It’s easy to forget why it all started and that one action has its reaction indefinitely . In this way, an initiative that seemed liberating at first (since, in theory, it served to feel at peace) becomes enslaved, demanding more and more time and effort.

What to do?

Faced with the desire for revenge, it is better to opt for one of two options.

On the one hand, it’s good to look for distractions that help make intrusive thoughts seem over and over again. With changing habits, the tendency to always think about the same thing or fantasize about taking revenge is broken.

On the other hand, you can also choose to take revenge in a very indirect, relatively constructive and benign way . It is the lesser evil option. For example, using this desire for compensation through personal advancement serves as a lesson to those who wanted to harm us, showing that their attempts to harm us were in vain.

In any case, it is clear that each case is unique, depending on the philosophy of life of each one. Of course, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a battle to fight (and win) against the urge for revenge.

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