Stubborn people
Do you find it difficult to listen to someone else’s advice even if you are on the edge of a precipice? In general, we’ve all heard someone who withdraws and says phrases like “you don’t need to give me moral lessons”, “I’ve been doing it this way for years and I already know how it works” or “it’s always been like this”, among others. It is evident that this type of people, who acquire the characteristic trait of stubbornness, are not willing to listen to anything that is said to them. But after all, what is stubbornness? It is an attitude and refers to the resistance to listening to the advice of others and insisting on the error. Here we will provide you a spectacle about Stubborn people.
How stubborn people are
Stubbornness is a way of closing oneself off from the world, which generally arises when people no longer pay attention to their surroundings and no longer believe in the possibility that things could be different. In these cases, the stubborn person just trusts himself, but not in a positive way. Therefore, you can only continue following certain paths, and the more you exclude some new option, the more these paths decrease.
In summary, the stubborn person is inflexible, excessively obstinate and in certain cases has difficulty accepting what he really needs. In turn, this type of person has a lack of mental and character flexibility and can be unreasonable. For this reason, they usually persist in their decisions without taking into account the advice and opinions of others.
Indeed, rarely is the truly stubborn person able to be kind and understanding or a good communicator surrounded by people who can live their lives by their own rules. Whoever lives with a stubborn person knows it well, since those people who adopt a behavior so little inclined to flexibility for themselves will also adopt it for others.
Why are there stubborn people?
What does stubborn mean? He is a person who insists, who does not give up easily. And after all, are you born or become stubborn? For this characteristic, as for any other, you need a pre-disposition. Therefore, despite having little flexibility or archaic thinking, not all people develop a stubborn attitude. Stubbornness is clearly a “counter value” based on a fundamentally pessimistic idea of existence. In turn, it is often used as a form of self-defense , but it can also be a way to avoid trusting yourself.
Unfortunately, the older you get, the more stubborn you become, mainly for two main reasons:
- We are likely to feel proud of our experience and, as a result, feel like we don’t need mentors or advice.
- With age, in general, the person becomes less receptive and more conservative.
For this reason, if someone is stubborn it will be difficult for them to improve their character and they will not want to adapt to what coexistence at work or in the family requires. The stubborn or stubborn usually acts on their own and, the more they get involved in something, the more they will close down and refuse to listen.
How to Deal with a Stubborn Person
Trying to convince a stubborn person to do what you want is not an easy task and can become very frustrating and tiring, even if it’s a friend or your mother. However, learning that stubborn people are just afraid of hurting their ego and facing new things, you can make them feel more comfortable and convince them to try to see things from another perspective.
Here are some tips for dealing with stubborn people:
- Start with a compliment : When talking to strong-willed people, try to make them feel good with some kind of initial compliment, making sure it’s sincere/and doesn’t sound like it’s a “gimmick” to get your way.
- Show that you take their opinion into account : another thing you should do when dealing with a stubborn person is to take into account their position and show that you had a great idea or that what you said has positive elements. In this way, the other person will understand that you consider him and his ideas, and he will be more willing to listen to you.
- Don’t say he/she is stubborn : the last thing anyone wants is to have the status of a stubborn person.
- Don’t say it’s wrong : never say phrases like “you’re not seeing it the right way” or “you’re not understanding the point” or other arrogant and negative expressions, as this way you’ll only get the person to shut down completely.
- Demonstrate how the decision will bring benefits : if you want to try to reduce her ego and make her believe that your decision is valid, you must first demonstrate how this idea can bring you benefits.
- Offer detailed information : the more information you give about your idea or project, the more relaxed you will feel.
- Make believe that the idea, in part, is also hers : make believe that you really had the idea during the conversation or that you introduced an important aspect related to why it is a very brilliant idea will serve to make the person feel proud of themselves and have the feeling of having convinced you to do what she wanted.
- Be decisive : The reason stubborn people often come out on top is that the people around them often give in and let them do what they want.
- Show why it’s important to you : If the stubborn person cares about you, he will be convinced simply by listening to the reason why what you want means a lot to you.
- Remember it’s your turn : it’s time to show yourself uncompromising, show the full picture and show that it’s time for you to get what you want.
- Negotiate or compromise : Compromising or negotiating with the other person can help you convince them to do what you want without giving in completely.
- Keep calm : if you really want to deal with a stubborn person and have the opportunity to do what you want, you can’t let your emotions take over you. In this article we tell you how to stay calm .
- Find Commonalities : Finding commonalities with the other person can help them see things from your perspective.
- Make the task of changing slowly easier : if you want to persuade someone close to you to try something different, you must get them used to the idea little by little until they feel completely comfortable with that situation.
- Pick your own battles : If the person is really stubborn, they are unlikely to give in to your demands very often. Therefore, if you have difficulty convincing the person to do what you want, you should only ask for what really interests you.
- Break the pattern of surrendering every time : the next time you decide something, even if it’s something as simple as the movie you’re going to see, say you’ll go alone or not go if it’s not what you want.
- Don’t beg and don’t look desperate : there’s no point in humiliating yourself by pleading and whining, and not only will it not work on a really stubborn person, it will also be a little humiliating for you.
- Be patient : it takes time to really convince a stubborn person, especially if it’s about breaking a stubborn pattern of behavior.
- Keep your confidence in yourself : if you have doubts about your ideas, the other person will respect you less and will even be less willing to listen to you.
- Be aware when you give up : if you don’t get any positive results, it could only make things worse and it’s better to leave the situation if you know it won’t get you anywhere.