Selfishness

Selfishness, in general terms, is a behavior of excessive attachment to one’s own well-being , which neglects or directly violates that of others . Selfish people , therefore, are those who only think of themselves and hardly dedicate effort or attention to the needs of others .

Selfishness has been a morally reprehensible trait since ancient times; in fact, the vast majority of religions and ethical codes reject it and instead encourage brotherhood and love between people. It is one of the personality traits that in children’s stories are attributed to evil characters or those destined to learn a lesson, as in “The Selfish Giant” by Oscar Wilde (1854-1900).

On the other hand, egoism is the subject of analysis and reflection for psychology , sociology and philosophy (both ethics and morality ), and even for biology : ethologists and students of animal behavior understand it as a conduct opposed to altruism , and which consists in defending the organism ‘s own interests above the collective interests of, for example, the pack itself or some other group of competitors . In this sense, biological egoism is part of what Charles Darwin called “survival of the fittest.”

Characteristics of a selfish person

Selfish people are characterized by the following:

• They put their personal benefit before the collective at all times, even when a small sacrifice of their own would bring enormous benefits to others.
• They find it difficult to part with their own , share it, or pass up opportunities in favor of others.
• They tend to hog attention , especially in a group, and get impatient when they have to listen to others.
• They try to get a tangible advantage out of all the situations in which they intervene.
• They apply the law of least cost, that is, they always give the minimum of their time, effort or money when it comes to doing something, or they look for a way to do it in the most comfortable or convenient way for them.

types of selfishness

According to psychology, there are three different types of egoism, which are:

• Egocentric selfishness . The egocentric is one whose social world revolves around his ego, that is, who compares absolutely everything with his desires. These types of people tend to be a victim and lack empathy , since in their order of priorities an excessive ego leaves little free space for others. In this sense, the egocentric use others for their own purposes and are not usually too interested in the well-being of others, except when this affects their own.
• Neutral egoism . Also called “conscious egoism,” this type of egoism is one that puts one’s own fundamental needs before the need to please others, but does so in a more rational and moderate way, often as part of a method of self-help or improvement of self-esteem . Neutral egoism is fostered by “help yourself first” doctrines that establish the need to take care of yourself before taking care of others, otherwise it is impossible to genuinely help.
• Altruistic egoism . With this oxymoron or union of contradictory terms, behavior that pursues one’s own benefit is known, but in such a way that it is also beneficial for a third party. That is, an altruistic egoist always gives priority to his own affairs, but strives to carry them out in a way that is useful to others.

selfish love

It is commonly called “selfish love” to certain types of romantic or loving relationships that subordinate the interests of one of the individuals with respect to those of the other, instead of being equal and providing both parties with the same enjoyment or the same importance. That is to say, selfish love is an unhealthy love, whose attachment is useful or pleasant only for one of the parties, which can cause damage, sadness or dissatisfaction in the other.

Selfish love can go by many names: toxic love, toxic relationships, manipulative love, among others. Naturally, it is not a form of love that should be encouraged or that is desirable.

Phrases about selfishness

Some famous phrases about selfishness are the following:

• “The egoist loves himself without rivals.” Cicero (106-43 BC), writer and politician of Ancient Rome.
• “No one is ever secondary to himself.” François Rabelais (1494-1553), French writer.
• “The egoist would be capable of setting fire to the neighbor’s house to be able to fry an egg.” Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626), British philosopher and essayist.
• “The man is the wolf of the man.” Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679), British philosopher and political scientist.
• “There is no true happiness in selfishness.” George Sand (1804-1876), writer of French origin.
• “The great egoists are the establishment of the great evil.” Concepción Arenal (1820-1893), Spanish writer.
• “An egoist is a person who thinks more of himself than of me.” Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), American writer and publisher.
• “The only acceptable selfishness is to ensure that everyone is well to be better.” Jacinto Benavente (1866-1954), Spanish playwright.