How to stop being shy
As we know, in general, shy people tend to participate little in social interactions and on many occasions even decide to avoid them and run away from them. This could be due to different factors, among them is the fear of not knowing how to act appropriately in every social situation, which is why they are also afraid of being rejected. On the other hand, there are people who consider themselves shy, but who, despite feeling some discomfort when interacting with others, do not stop doing so and, on the contrary, seek social contact more often.
When one wants to stop being shy, it is because the discomfort experienced when interacting with others is so great that it prevents the person from achieving what he wants and, therefore, from being able to fulfill his personal goals and objectives. There is always something that can be done to overcome shyness or to do the things we want to do despite being shy.
How to stop being shy
It is possible that you would like to be less shy in order to achieve some of your personal goals or purposes, such as having more friends, getting a partner, getting promoted, etc. Pay attention to this series of tips that, if you put them into practice, you will gradually notice a significant change in the way you behave.
Watch people who aren’t shy
Pay attention to all those people who interact fluently with others , who express their ideas without fear of making mistakes, who are more open and more extroverted. Look at the way they interact with others, how they react to certain situations, how they carry themselves, their body language, etc., and see what behaviors you could start adopting that would help you act more confidently.
Expand your social circle
You don’t have to make a lot of friends or acquaintances at the same time, but try to make a conscious effort to interact, even gradually, with more people. For example, if a new person joins your workplace or you have a new classmate, take the initiative and be the first person to talk to them and be interested in talking.
talk to strangers
To start to stop being shy, you can start doing this with people you don’t know and are unlikely to see again. For example, if you’re on the street, you can approach someone and simply ask for the time, ask for directions, comment on the weather if the situation warrants it, and so on. If you feel intimidated doing this, remember that even if you are wrong about something, this is a person you will never see again.
Dare, despite the fear
If you’d like to attend a party or a gathering where there will be lots of people you’d like to interact with, but you’re scared because you don’t know most of them or just the idea of being with lots of people makes you nervous, make an effort to participate anyway. Make an effort to show up for an hour or a few hours even if you feel uncomfortable, try to interact with other people, and then leave. The more you get used to doing this, the less uncomfortable you will feel.
How not to be shy: tools
If you want more tips to improve your social skills and stop being shy, you can try the following tips:
- Focus your attention on your goal, not yourself. The mistake many shy people make is that they focus all of their attention on themselves. For example, when they are talking to someone or want to present a topic to others, instead of their main concern being that others understand what they are trying to say, they are more concerned with not “doing it badly” or are thinking about what others are thinking about them at the moment.
- Practice. Improving your soft skills, like developing any other cognitive skill, takes practice. One of the ways you can do this is to stand in front of a mirror and talk to yourself while imagining you’re talking to someone else. This will help you feel more confident when you are actually having a face-to-face conversation with another person.
Overcoming shyness with therapy
If you notice that no matter how hard you try, you can’t make progress and stop being shy, a good option would be to go to a professional to receive specialized psychological care.
Through psychological therapy you will be able to know in depth where your shyness comes from , what are the patterns of behavior that you normally use and that do not allow you to stop being shy, what are the thoughts or beliefs that you have been generating over time and that so far have kept you from being a more confident and open person, among other things you certainly need to know to start making changes that will help you get to where you want to be.
Once you know all this, the psychologist will provide you with a series of tools that will help you feel more confident and comfortable in each of the social environments where you feel insecure. Each session will also work on increasing your self-esteem and self-confidence, which will undoubtedly allow you to overcome shyness.
The overall aim of the therapy is not so much to make you become a more outgoing person, but rather to ensure that shyness does not limit you from achieving what you want, that you feel comfortable and self-confident, and that your emotional well-being increases considerably.
