The first and most important step in this situation is to become aware that you are being despised by a person. Sometimes it is the person who reveals this vexatious situation, but in many others, as it is a subtle slight that can pass for a typical behavior of people with certain strong personalities without further ado, it happens that the abused person ends up deteriorating physically, psychologically and emotionally without knowing exactly why.

Becoming aware of such abuse is important to start down the road to prohibition and ending this misbehavior.

A tool that will help us to become aware of the abuse we are being subjected to and to deal with the contempt will be to connect with the negative consequences that we are suffering as a result of this abuse.

Seeing how our physical, mental and emotional health is gradually being damaged and how all this negatively affects the normal events of our lives, will facilitate awareness of these mistreatments suffered that, in some cases, are denied by the fear of being further abused.

At this point, it is important that we adopt a firm “zero tolerance” attitude towards contempt. Any kind of contempt is intolerable in the treatment of human beings, therefore, adopting an attitude of intolerance towards any manifestation of mistreatment or contempt, however harmless it may seem, will strengthen us, help us not to tolerate any kind of abuse towards ourselves. and this will allow us to defend others from possible similar situations.

The best tool is, as we mentioned earlier, to adopt this attitude of not tolerating any type of abuse. However, there are situations in which, for various reasons, this attitude is not enough to stop the abuse, as it continues to manifest itself in our lives (for example, in cases of abusive bosses in the face of which our change in attitude is not enough; very aggressive and manipulative people with great difficulty controlling their impulses, etc.)

In these cases, the best option is to modify the vital situations necessary to eliminate the situation of contempt and mistreatment suffered. If necessary, it will be convenient to change jobs, move away from the environment of the person who attacks us, change residence (if necessary, etc.), report to the police, etc.

In the face of any attitude of contempt, it is important to carry out care and personal strengthening work that helps us to strongly establish an attitude of respect for human and own rights and zero tolerance for abuse and any type of contempt and violence against anyone.

In the words of Hellen Keller, an American writer and political activist who suffered sensory deprivation from a very young age, “Only through trials and sufferings is the soul strengthened.” Personal care work improves our self-image and will give us strength to protect, support and accompany people who are experiencing situations of abuse in their lives based on the situation they are experiencing.

Once empowered, we can change our view of the situation. The abuser becomes one of the many victims of the abuse suffered. And that’s how it usually happens. People who despise others do so because of some emotional deficiency that arises as a result of bad experiences that have occurred in their own lives. On many occasions, the people they despise have been despised by important people in their lives and end up playing the same role.

Being able to adopt this vision erases much of the discomfort experienced by understanding that the same person who has been attacking us is a fragile, weak person, who found in this way of acting a way to protect himself from his own demons and shadows.

Incorporating this new vision of the situation completely opens our heart and allows us to adopt a compassionate and merciful attitude towards the aggressor , seeing him as a victim of his own bad life experiences.

To better understand the topic, we recommend that you read the article on what forgiveness is and how to apply it.

This openness of heart unites us with our “initial” aggressor enemy. Our kind and compassionate attitude towards him will shock the person who despises you, silencing that evil force that controls him and freeing him from it.

Deep in his soul, the person who made us suffer will end up deeply appreciating our attitude of forgiveness and mercy towards him, strongly regretting the pain caused and changing his attitude of contempt for a new behavior of respect and care for others.